The Battle Rounds Part 2
Davon v Maharasyi - “I’m Your Baby Tonight,” Team Jennifer. They are entering the room, see Kelly Rowland, and both fall over on the floor. Sometimes when contestants in these various shows (The Voice, Face Off, Halloween Wars, Kids Barbecue Championship) are enthusiastic over a celebrity or guest judge they see, you can tell they were coached like crazy and nobody has the slightest idea who they are, but this is very real and spontaneous and adorbs. This pairing should have been called Davon and Cannon Fodder, because nobody is beating Davon, no matter how good she is, and she is very good. She’s a wedding singer, and she’ll certainly be able to raise her rate. This is not sarcasm, I don’t sniff at raising your rate. They rehearse and try to find space for Maharasyi in the song. It’s not because Davon is singing selfishly, it’s just that he’s Mount Rushmore and she’s a really nice ottoman. Ottomans are terrific, but nobody’s putting them on a coin. They’re having trouble blending, and then Kelly gives a blending masterclass and shows that it’s not impossible to blend with Devon. Kelly used to blend with Beyoncé, so she knows from blending with a powerful voice. They go through it again, and Jennifer throws a pen at them. The battle begins, and they have just clicked so beautifully, they are singing together, not against each other. It doesn’t matter, though, because if Jennifer doesn’t pick Devon she will need to be Put Away. Blake says there was nothing he did that she didn’t do just as incredible. But Jennifer, not wanting to be Put Away, chooses Davon. No steal.
Brandon v Hannah, - “Cold Water,” Team Adam. Hannah explains to us that Joe Jonas is hot. Adam says that they are both hard workers and which one will he be unable to look away from? The battle begins, and honestly I’m kind of bored to death, but that might be the song, which really isn’t doing it for me. They have good voices, but not an overwhelming amount of personality. Hannah has a better voice, but Brandon has a more unique voice. Were I Adam, I’d choose Brandon. Blake just said the exact same thing I did, but that he’s choose Hannah. Jennifer would choose Brandon. Miley says they were both great. Adam says it was a dead even match, then chooses Hannah. Poor Brandon. Nobody steals him.
Montage time!
Dave v Dylan - “Doctor My Eyes,” Team Adam. Dylan wins.
Esera v Rebecca - “This I Promise You,” Team Blake. Esera was on my team for awhile, he’s the gay Hawaiian football player. And he wins, yay!
Chloe v Ilianna - “I am Woman,” Team Miley. Ilianna is on my team, don’t ruin my streak, Illianna! She does, Chloe wins. You let me down, Illianna.
Dennis v Mitchell - “Mr. Jones,” Team Blake. Blake praises Dennis for his diction and Mitchell for the fact that he looks like lead singer. Neither of these are all that impressive things to say, which is interesting, since they have been have been plugging this as the battle of the show. Mitchell’s facial hair is so sculpted, it looks painted on. Mitchell is probably better, but the more I see Dennis the better I like him. Jennifer says they are both stars, Miley says she likes listening to Mitchell and likes watching Dennis, and she’s pick Mitchell. Adam says that Mitchell sounded exactly like the record, and that wasn’t an insult, somehow. Blake chooses Mitchell, and Adam steals Dennis instantly. Good news!