At last, the end of the blinds! Which means that we will finally see some new outfits on these people! I mean, I know they film over several days and wear the same outfits so that the auditions can be put in any order, but sometimes it seems that the judges don’t take into consideration that we’ll be looking at those outfits for three weeks. Remember when Christina wore that stupid tiny black hat perched on the side of her head? That’s something you don’t want to have to keep coming back to. This season I am really over Miley’s belly shirt and baby blue eye shadow and giant hoops.
Kristi, Heaven, Heartache and the Power of Love. She is the hippie chick with twang, she loves ‘70s fashion, her hat is named Wynona, her mother says it makes her look Amish. An Amish man, yes. She’s good, but everyone is waiting for Blake’s decision. He turns, then Adam, which annoys Blake, then Jennifer. Miley urges her to go with Adam. Adam says she’d be the only country artist on his team, Jennifer said she’d be the only country artist on her team, Blake says what he does is country music. She picks Blake. And now his team is full.
Michael, Sugar. He’s been singing for as long as he can remember, he taught himself to play the guitar when he was 12, he’s a big Maroon 5 fan, he’s a sideman in Nashville, he’s singing a Maroon 5 Song, which is always an dangerous choice. He’s wearing an Amish hat, too. He hits a really strong falsetto note and Adam turns. Nobody else bothers, because honestly, why would you think you have a chance?
Adam, Jennifer and Miley each have one more spot.
Jeremiah, Slow Hands. 18 years old, high school wrestler who also sang the national anthem at his meets, parents were in a Christian rock band. He’s not wearing an Amish hat, which is the sign of a winner today, but Adam turns anyway, hat or no. Then Jennifer. There’s still a half an hour left of this show, how will they fill it with only two slots available? Jennifer tells him that she won The Voice UK last year, Adam says he’s won The Voice USA many, many times. He says he wants to sing for the glory of God, Jennifer starts to quote about faith the size of a grain of mustardseed, so he goes with Jennifer. Whose team is full!
Serena, Stand By Me. 17 years old, wants to join the Navy but got the call for The Voice, so she’s doing this instead, she sings in Spanish, her father says that he did two tours in Vietnam and never cried until he heard Serena sing, her brother is deployed and she misses him. She sings in Spanish and English, the judges argue whether there are two people or not, and nobody turns. They tell her to come back, and they hug her.
Now the compilation is of artists not picked. Poor things! Two of them are wearing Amish hats.
Megan, Ode to Billy Joe. Country musician in San Francisco, which is an uphill battle, dad has MS, he used to be a musician but stopped being able to play the guitar and piano. Amish hat! And one of my favourite songs! Miley hit her buzzer first! At last! Adam does too, a split second later. She starts sobbing. Miley ran up and hugged her, Adam giver her his chair. Miley says she is making HER-story again, stop it with the HER-story, Miley, that is not a thing. It’s like people saying that someone is 85 years YOUNG. Adam says that she’d get lost on Miley’s team with eleven other women. She picks Miley anyway. And her team is full! Adam is the only one left. Miley says HER-Story several more times. Honey. Stop.
Gary, Home. Last guy, who is wearing a very stupid shirt, played baseball in college but didn’t get called to the bigs and didn’t do well in school, and decided to go with music. Adam turns, his fiancée has hysterics. Jennifer and Miley peek around the sides of their chairs, they all sing along, the song ends and he collapses in tears. It’s so sweet. And Adam’s team is full!
Sneak preview of the battle rounds. Blake’s assistant coaches are Rascal Flatts, Jennifer’s is Kelly Rowland, Adam’s is Joe Jonas (whose dog I know personally), and Miley has Billy Ray Cyrus. How did she get him? Some kind of miracle!